Nothing seems to bring my sprits high again, nth.. Feeling very low, down n damn rotten!! Sometimes i just wonder what am i doing in dis world.. i dunno n i guess i will nv know.. Seems like i'm just taking each day as it comes in everything... i really mean everything... I'm losing hope, losing faith.. n i know i'll lose everything in time to come...

Yest was was bad, today not any better too.. Face was really black in office yest, cos got xtras in shift again.. DAmn stupid! dunno act know, ask liao still 12 act expert.. simply buay tahan.. everything also 12kpo, not his problem also muz talk.. simply idiotic!!! MAny things happen too.. one issue nv end, e other issue arises.. god.. what's e heck is happening?? Manpower simply cannot make it.. 4pers can stil manage to finish work by 2.30pm, simply incredible... haiz... Went Northpt BK with colleagues, had some finger food.. release our unhappiness n off we go.. Din went hm, cos mum at grandma place, so i went over too. At least feel abit happier seeing my grandma n cousins.. play with them for a while n we took a lift back home from my uncle in e evening...

Search net for info on courses which i could take n playing neopet to kill time.. Realise tat whenever i'm at home, i spend most of my time in my room for e past 2 week.. missed my tv shows.. but just can't bring myself to be in e same room with someone... haiz.. Nvm.. anyway, while surfing n playing games, was waiting for someone to call or msg.. But i was being disappointed once again... MAybe promises are really meant to be broken.. therefore i think no promises should be made rite from e start... Save e disappointment n also e fake happiness which they often create... Tried to slp.. but no mattter how hard i tried.. i juz can't slp n b4 i noe, i woke up after receiving an sms..

Still resting on my bed.. not knowing what to do or reply.. simply starring in e space.. did my washing up, n when i'm back, i got a missed call.. maybe it's all fated. i dunno.. I hope i can find e answer to all my uncertainty, doubts n whatever are bothering me.. but i doubt i can.. I guess i'm sick.. sick in my heart n mind..

Anyway, went to work as per normal.. today is busy.. v.v.busy.. Somemore, there's a 5km run after work.. realli demoralise us.. haiz no choice.. who ask me hand itchy go sign on?? haiz.. anyway, i work til i black out.. simply dunno what i'm typing n when i realise.. haha.. it was too late cos ryan saw it n he laf at my stupidness.. Guess i'm really too stress up le.. Ryan is a happy man.. cos he'll be flying to Phuket in another 2days time.. 6days 5night getaway.. really envious of him.. I wish i could go to somewhere faraway too... simply get away from work, from everyone.. I want to enjoy life.. but i dunno how..

Fell asleep in bunk b4 e run begin.. woke up feeling sick cos got headache. Anyway b4 e run, i knew i'll be e last.. but still i feel stress.. Not gifted in long distance run.. 12.5 rds on track.. god.. 1 down, 2 down.. by e 4th rd, i feel like giving up already.. cos long time nv run... b4 i know it.. i was at my 8 rds where most of e guys left with 1 or 2 rds.. Luckily my 2ic came n encourage me, else i would nv able able to make it.. But i feel faint after e run.. anyway still managed to get myself home..

Today shld be a happy day.. cos it's e end of someone course.. but i'm not.. i'm not happy at all.. guess wat.. it's Yida's song again.. guess it really discribe my feeling now.. think it's fated.. 10 songs on my playlist.. but when i'm typing this paragraph, it's Yida's song..

Seriously, i dunno what e future holds.. i guess nobody knows.. I'm afraid of getting hurt n in return hurting others.. I just pray n hope that i can get out of this damn rotten feeling of my soon...